How would yew cope?Plz help very IMPORTANT!!!!?

well lets say theres a girl.


During her chilhood her parents used to abuse her. Her mom and dad would fight everyday and eventualy her mom cheated on her dad and left the family for three months and came back because she became poor. When that girl was 10 she was sexually abused by the father of the boy her grandma used to babysit. These incidents left deep scarrs in her life. As she grows up she becomes more of a disturbed person than ever.Now she's a senior in middle school. She cuts herself sometimes when she gets into big fights with her family or when her younger fat brotehr beats the hell out of her. She's bulimic (5'5 120lbs) She doesnt know how ta cope with life so she just tunes all the problems out and simply listens to her iPod. She goes to the library and reads all the time about monsters especially vampires. She's always under house arrest because her mom doesnt let her go anywhere .Straight from school she's either at the library or at home.Umm so i was just wondering

How would yew cope?Plz help very IMPORTANT!!!!?
The girl is still of a dependant age, so she is kind of stuck with her living situation, until she's old enough to leave for college. So survival is kind of the mode of behavior until then.





The cutting, as well as the escape into dramatic literature, and the bulemia, are all ways of coping. So she knows some coping methods, but they are not all equal. The cutting is said to release endorphins--happy chemicals--into a person's system, as the body tries to cope physically with an injury. So cutting works, but it's also self destructive. Exercise would be a better strategy, as would meditation, yoga, any of those things. If there is a group at her school that helps teach middle school kids how to deal with stress, that would be a great group for her to get into. If there isn't one, she should suggest right away it to her guidance counselor, her principal, her favorite teacher, and get other kids to suggest it, too. If there is a need for it, the teachers should get it organized for the kids. That could be a huge help to her, and if it's an after-school thing, perhaps her teacher or counselor could let her mom know about it and suggest she let the girl attend. Usually if an adult asks, the moms listen and are more accommodating.





The bulemia is also a way of coping, which is self-destructive. It is said that eating disorders are based on controlling the only thing someone can control in an otherwise out of control existance, and that's what goes into or comes out of one's mouth. Pretty sad, basic level of control, but I understand. Still, she has to stop this behavior before it rots her teeth with stomach acid (yes, that's what will happen), damages her insides between her stomach and her lips with stomach acid, and damages her heart by robbing her of necessary nutritients, when she pukes them up before they get to nourish her. Very, very self-destructive way of coping. Usually guidance counselors are very tuned into this at the age of this girl, and she could confide in that person for help. Otherwise, I would fake an illness with my mom, maybe stomach pains, long enough to get her to take me to the doctor, and then I would confide all of this to the doctor and ask for help.





There are some very serious injuries here to this girl psychologically, and some very deep wounds to heal, but it can be done. Starting sooner is better than waiting for more self destructive behavior to develop. And without therapy, it will. She needs some ongoing psychotherapy, maybe along with family therapy, since the whole family sounds dysfunctional and dangerous to the concept of wellness. She will have to reach out to an adult outside of her sick family circle for help.





The vampire literature is not a bad way of coping. Escape into fantasy literature like this is actually the most healthy things that you've mentioned her doing. I would encourage her in that if it helps; but still encourage her to reach out to a caring adult for help in a bigger way.
Reply:I think she should let go of the past and eventually will.





Too many people blame things that have happened to them for acting out themselves. It's an old excuse and there comes a time when people have to start taking accountability for their own actions.





Horrible, crappy stuff happens to EVERYONE. Most people however are able to gain inner strength through their bad experiences and maintain responsibility for their own lives.





If her mother has her on lockdown, it's probably because she's done a few things the mother is concerned about and being locked in the house is for the better until she can shed the disgrace of previous horrors and put her own life on track.





Releasing the grim morbidity of obsessing over "dark" and "sinister" things would be a great step.





Edit: Sounds like she's showing signs of Borderline Personality Disorder. Your second edit is filled with DSM IV criteria for that particular problem. If that's the case, then she should be locked away and never let out on the general population. People with BPD make it a lifes mission to destroy lives and demonize everyone they meet. They will make up stories about the bad things that have happened to them so they can get attention and pity. BPD's are usually very intelligent (like sociopaths) and have lovely personalities. They tend to only have ONE friend that is very close to them until they meet someone else that can be suckered into their self-absorbed spiral of insanity. They're usually a great friend to that one person until that person can't do anything for them anymore too.





Run like HELL!!





If YOU are the girl in the topic, please catch yourself before you talk crap about your friends to others to draw pity for yourself and keep the negative attention seeking behavior to a minimum.





Here's the DSM IV criteria:





http://www.borderlinepersonalitytoday.co...
Reply:This girl is already coping to the best of her abilities. Eventually, she will leave home as early as she can. I hope it will be a planned move to a better environment. For example, she can go to Job Corps when she is 16, live therre, finish school and get job training. And I hope this girl is smart enough to know that she can contact child protective services before then if the situation she is in is so bad that it endangers her. Child protective services will take her out of the home and place her first in a shelter and hopefully, then with a family that has been checked out. I hope this girl protects herself.
Reply:Uhm.... I'd tell her to try talking to her parents. Not like... About the big stuff first.





See, I used to not talk to my parents at all. I didn't talk to anyone. And I had real big problems like anger and depression.





I started fixing it by at least sitting in the same room as my parents. Then if I had some kind of comment, no matter how little, I said it. Soon it was easier to talk to them.





And when the girl feels ready, she should talk to her parents about her emotions. Then things feel less heavy.





After that, she needs to decide what she wants. If she wants them to know her problems, she should. I'd advise telling them. Then try getting them to get her to a doctor for medication. If she doesn't want it, well. She needs to find things that make her happy.